I happen to be a doodler.  I’d like to say that I’m a writer but I don’t think I’m quite up there yet.  So yeah, for the meantime I content myself with doodling. 

I’m somewhat of a notebook fiend, so much in fact that I have a compartment filled with blank page upon blank pages.  I guess it started out when I was in school, I’ve always had the fear of running out of stuff so I bought extra of everything.  The pens and the markers and the rulers I managed to use up or lose, but the notebooks are still there.  My oldest notebook to date is something that my mother bought me for my freshman year in high school.  That was almost nine years ago.  I still haven’t used it; I guess I haven’t found the right use for it yet.

I guess I’ve always been more comfortable writing in longhand; I started when I was in sixth grade so that’s not something that’s about to stop anytime soon.  I usually have a couple (or four) stories on my hard drive at any given time so for me it pays to have writing materials handy, just so I can jot down ideas for any story at any given time that I’m free.

Once I sit down someplace I just take out my notebook, give it a few seconds, and start writing.  The notebook I have now is a cheap sturdy binder that I remember buying from a thrift store when I was fifteen.  It wasn’t until last year when I made a couple of embellishments (I shellacked it with Beetle Bailey and Cathy comic strips to make it a wee bit more interesting) I finally got around to using it. 

I filled most of the blank pages from that notebook and now that I’m re-reading the stuff that I’ve put down here I must say that I feel sort of accomplished.  The thing is that with every word, every phrase and every smudge I’m brought back to the exact time and place when they were written down.  Most of the time I’m alone in a coffeehouse somewhere in Manila, waiting for someone, but there were a couple of pages filled with brainstorming ideas with people who I now miss so much.

The notebook I have now is almost full; I have to take out those loose leaves from the back of the compartment and dust them off for use.  Last night I was writing again.  I had this idea for a story inside my head and I didn’t want to let it go so I thought, hey I should write an outline.  But things sort of ran away from me and when I looked up two and a half hours had passed since I started. 

I’m still not done now, but I guess I’m thinking I can finish this synopsis by tonight.  It’s been so long since I’ve written anything quite like this so excuse me while I relish in the moment of it all. 

I might not yet be a writer as of now, but I think I’ll get there someday.