I don’t think I’ve ever blogged about it, but yeah, the results of the National Medical Admission Test (NMAT) came out already.  If you remember correctly, I was out of my wit’s end by the end of that exam last April because I was so sure that I’d get a failing mark. 

Anyway, the result of my exam came in the mail about a month ago, but because I was still in Batotay Land, I couldn’t get to blog about it.  I think it arrived a few days after my birthday.  I remember my mother texting me about the envelope and I remember specifically instructing her over the phone to not take the liberty to open it up and read it.  I wanted to be the first person to see the marks that would/could decide my fate.  I was pretty sure that I tanked the test that I wanted to get a few moments to myself to make up an excuse to my parents about not going to med. school.

But, as it turns out, I passed.  I got an 81 when I was just praying for a 65 (that’s what UST-Med’s cut off score was, or so I’ve heard). 

I always thought that this exam would help clear up my future a bit, but then again I guess I was thinking that I’d fail it, I guess.  Now that I’ve passed I only need to take the entrance test for UST-Med later this year.  I’m thinking that I’m going to pass that, I hope, but after that, what comes next? 

Do I enroll for med. school?  Can I take the heat of four more solid years of grueling over studies?  If I do enroll for med. school next school year I’d be two years behind my batch mates in Nursing and can I handle that?  I’d be in a sea of fresh graduates and I’d be forced to make new connections and friends in those circles.  I’d be a student again which means that I’d be leaning on my parents financially again, as they’d have to pay for my dorm, my food, my books, my uniform, my everything. 

If I do sign up for med. school, it’s a done deal.  I can’t back out of that no matter what happens because it’d be too much of a waste, financially speaking.   You might be asking, “Do you really want to go to med. school?”  Well I guess I can survive it, but I’m no good at gauging my ‘want’ factor about anything right about now.  The problem is, I don’t know what I want.  I guess I’d want to be a staff nurse, but only because I’ve never even tried it before.  Besides, at this point in time my opportunity as a staff nurse is pretty bleak because every hospital door’s literally slammed close on my face.

But I guess there’re still a lot of things that could happen between now and the date of the UST-Med. entrance test.  Hell, I could still fail that exam as well.  So I guess I still have months of torture/rumination ahead of me. 

…fun.