So it’s been a full month since the Metro Manila Film Festival opened but the theaters are still full of their entries. After a failed attempt to cash in on some vouchers from Metrodeal, the Quality Room people (Abby, Noreen, Jeremy and Princess) and I opted to catch a movie instead. Since the Kim Chiu movie is off the table and I’ve already seen Pagpag: Siyam Na Buhay, we not-so-unanimously voted to catch Wen V. Deramas’ Girl, Boy, Bakla, Tomboy (sorry Jeremy).

THE STORY:

Quadruplets Girlie, Peter, Mark and Panying Jackstone (all played by Vice Ganda) were separated at birth; Girlie and Peter grew up in the lap of luxury in America with their father Pete (Joey Marquez) and his soon-to-be-wife Marie (Ruffa Gutierrez) while Mark and Panying were raised in the farm by their mother Pia Jackstone (Maricel Soriano). Sorry, we missed the first few minutes of the movie so I’m not really sure why they had to split the kids. Anyway, when Peter’s hepatitis flares up the doctors tell him that he needs a transplant and despite the fact that he and Girlie are twins, she is not a compatible match. The solution? Their father Pete flies them back to the Philippines to look for their long lost siblings.

Hilarity (supposedly) ensues.

THE GOOD:

1. Maricel Soriano.. Gods, this woman kept this film afloat. She was in a ridiculous movie but she still brought on the talent; you feel it when she cries and admonishes her kids for not getting along.

2. Ruffa Gutierrez. I wasn’t a fan of hers (still am not) but she worked in this movie as the ditzy materialistic bride-to-be. Probably because the role isn’t too far fetched from reality?

3. Vice Ganda’s legs. Whenever she was playing the Girlie character, he was wearing the skimpiest of dresses and shorts that show off his best asset. I don’t think I even know of a woman who has legs that can compete with those gams.

THE BAD:

1. The cringe worthy moments when Vice Ganda cozies up to his hunky co-stars JC De Vera and Ejay Falcon. It coasts too near skeevy territory when you know that there’s a possibility that what you’re seeing on screen is what happened off of it.

2. Vice Ganda playing a straight man. For some reason it just looks and feels wrong. The wrongness radiates and oozes from the screen that you really can’t help but look away.

THE UGLY:

1. The stupid-ass plot. I don’t understand how this is a contender at all for the Metro Manila Film Fest. Where’s the art? Where’s the intellect? I mean, I understand that yeah, it’s a comedy and duh, it’s a Vice Ganda movie so of course it’ll be full of his trademark sarcastic observations but that doesn’t mean that it had to be dumb. I’m all for a happy ending and what not, but you’ve got to give me something to work with here.

2. The crass humor. The film’s full of racist jokes, which I found ironic that we’re tolerating because we are like the most easily offended race in the world.

All in all it’s a funny movie – it had its moments and if you’re a Vice Ganda fan then you’re in for a ride of your life. It’s just that the story’s weak and the plot is ridiculously dumbed down that you’re very likely to feel insulted. I weep for our people because as you all know, this was the top grossing film ever, which means that a lot Filipinos saw this.

THE VERDICT: 2/10. Skip it.

*All images are from Google and from the film’s Wikipedia page.