Pickings were slim the week that I saw this and truth be told, I only watched it because I needed to get out of the house.  You know how when you’re feeling productive and you’re loathe to break your streak?  That’s how it felt like for me.  Like wasting away the day lounging around the house was the most detrimental thing for my life at that moment, and even watching a mindless flick with the same premise as Taken felt productive because it meant that I’m doing something, at least.

Anywho, here’s the round-up of Brian A. Miller (House of the Rising Sun)’s The Prince.

Please note that there may be spoilers.  Read at your own risk.

THE STORY:

The movie opens up with Paul (Jason Patric – Speed 2: Cruise Control), a Missouri-based mechanic, receiving a video call from his only daughter, Beth (Gia Mantegna – The Frozen Ground), who was off at college.  Beth just called to check in and to tell him how excited she was to go home for school break, but the call gets cut short when an unknown male voice off the camera harshly asks her what she’s doing.  After not hearing from his daughter for the next few days, along with receiving a letter from the university she’s in asking for the payment for her tuition -money he’s already sent to his daughter-, Paul starts to get worried.  Like any level headed father, he tries not to panic and calmly calls his daughter on her phone, only to be answered by a seemingly drunk man who tells her that he doesn’t know who the bleep Beth is.

So begins Paul’s crusade to find his daughter, only it turns out that Paul isn’t your run-of-the-mill mehanic – he has a terrible past that prevents him from seeking help from the police.  Running out of options, he hauls Beth’s druggie bestie, Angela (Jessica Lowndes – 90210), from university to New Orleans, where he finds that Beth is involved with a drug dealer called The Pharmacy (50 Cent – Last Vegas), who, as far as he knows, is keeping her hostage.  The only problem is, the French Quarter is under the control of, mafia boss Omar (Bruce Willis – Sin City: A Dame to Kill For) who, conincidentally, is just itching to kill him for revenge.  Paul asks help from his former colleague Sam (John Cusack – Identity) but that, along with his very specific set of expertise, may not be enough to stop the hoarde of goons Omar has unleashed after him, led by his right hand man Mark (Rain – I’m A Cyborg, But That’s OK).  Can Paul make it through and save his daughter?

THE GOOD:

1. Rain!  He will forever be Justin from Full House but it’s always a joy to see in in Hollywood films, even though he’s been pretty consistent in picking sucky movies.  His english has improved remarkably (he’s actually intelligible now) and yes, he’s still working those lips.  There were at least three instances where he ran the pad of his thumb along his lower lip before talking.
   
2. Bruce Willis looked like he enjoyed his small-ish role, at least.  It was a canned character but he hammed it up big time and sometimes you just have to respect actors who make the most of what they’re given.
3. The paternal vibe between Paul and Beth.  I was cringeing in my seat, waiting for the moment when they were both onscreen interacting, but props because there were no pedo vibes at all.
   

THE BAD:

1. The very incredibly modern suit worn by Bruce Willis in the first few minutes of the movie.  Sorry, but because the cut and the style was so modern, it totally prevented me from believing the flashback setting.  I just find that extremely lazy on the production crew’s part because they didn’t put enough effort into making the scene (the very first!) believable.
   
2. Totally forgettable action sequences.  Maybe the recent slew of Liam Neeson action films have spoiled me, but there weren’t many unique or innovative scenes in this movie, which is a shame because the premise is ridiculous enough to support over the top killing sequences and car chases.  As it is, the action sort of reminded me of the style from the Hollywood B-movies from the 90’s.
3. The pacing was reaallly slow.  I don’t understand why the film makers decided to drag the story out that long, introducing characters who contribute nothing to the story who we never see again, considering that the plot was as straight forward as is goes.  People don’t shell out money for these type of movies for the story anyway but the film makers decided to wring out as much backstory as they can.
4. John Cusack’s hair.  Is it alive?
   
5. Jessica Lowndes was sooo bad in this movie, it’s made ridiculous.

THE UGLY:

1. False advertising.  My main problem with this movie was they put Bruce Willis in the top billing.  If you look at the poster, you’d probably think that he would be in most (if not all) of the movie, because hey, he’s right there front and center.  But he wasn’t and it was a bit agonizing to sit in the theater wondering when he was going to show up next.  Not to say that Jason Patric was a bad leading man, but the odds were against him when people were led to believe that they were sitting down to watch a movie led by a different actor.
2. The skeevy scene between Jason Patric and Jessica Lowndes.  Yigs.  I get that the movie suffered from a serious lack of a love interest but why did they have to go there?  I am traumatized for life.

All in all The Prince was as bad as it gets.  My working theory is that the film makers were, by some sort of miracle, able to cast Bruce Willis and got him to sign a deal saying he’d do it.  But then he got to read the script and he’s made every effort to be in the film as little as possible, without having to fork over cash for breach of contract.  It’s a complete waste.  The story’s been done (and done infinitely better), the action scenes are a joke and the acting’s generally bad all around.

THE VERDICT: 3/10.  Baaad.

*All photos are lifted from the film’s IMDB page.