veiledmusings.com

unravelling the thoughts of an emotional blockhead

holy crap! i'm really 30!

So yes, I am thirty years old and have been for a good twenty-five days now. Nothing really feels different though and it feels kind of annoying that people have over-dramatized this particular milestone as some kind of horrible hurdle to jump over.

Anyway, my head’s still in a jumble but here, in no particular order, are the thoughts currently bouncing around:

  • YAAAAZZZZZZZ, MY CAR’S FULLY PAID!!!! It seems silly that this takes precedence over everything else, but I just checked my online account and it turns out that they took the last payment for my car last Friday. Which roughly means that I can get a quarter of my income back and spend it on frivolous things! Hooray for irresponsible spending!!! Now I just have to find out from the dealer if I have to sign or do anything to make it official…
  • I spent my birthday in Paris and it was so cool. It rained a lot but we still got to roam around the city and I tested the limits of my knees by climbing up the steps of the Arc de Triomphe. I’ve always said that I wanted to go to Europe before I turned thirty but I didn’t actually think that I’d be able to do it, you know? Sure, I got there a day shy of my thirtieth birthday, but I still got there before my birthday. Maybe it’s the power of The Secret?
  • That particular trip wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for my very supportive and loving parents who basically shouldered the cost of the tour we booked. They’re truly the best and even though I didn’t spend my birthday with them, I still felt all of the love despite the intercontinental distance. My Papa was actually sharing the photos I sent to them on his Facebook page, LOL. Talk about proud and supportive.
  • I’m thankful that I have a job that I like with a boss that I like. Being the cynical person that I am, I’ve always been a firm believer that you cannot turn your passion into your main source of income because eventually your passion would become a chore that you would hate. I still believe in this idea very much so I consider myself very lucky to have landed a job that I don’t hate. It sounds like I’m setting the bar for myself too low but I know that I’m a difficult person to manage and I am so, so, so thankful to have a manager who I actually respect.
  • Maybe it’s just in my head, but it feels like I have more clarity over certain things about my life.
  • I may or may not have recently done something that might ruin a beloved friendship forever for the sake of airing out my feelings but I don’t regret it.
  • I have so much energy for socialization these days, it’s weirding me out. I’m actively talking to random people who I haven’t talked to in ages about the most random of things and I love it! I’m not expecting this phase to last but I fully intend to ride it out.
  • I’m basically set in the idea of never marrying or raising kids purely because I consider myself too selfish and self-absorbed for that kind of life. People keep on saying that I’ll change my mind when I’m older but people have been saying that for years and I am older now.
  • There is the random fear of what if I’ve been so used to doing stuff by myself that I’m not giving myself the chance of having another option? I’ve been ruminating about this thought for sometime now but I still haven’t reached the end of the thread.
  • There are still quite a few things that I’d like to work on in my life – cleaning and organizing my workspace here at home for one – but I’m still too lazy to start.
  • I have two more trips booked this year and I officially don’t have any more holiday leaves left. Sad.

Too long, didn’t read? I’m thirty and basically nothing’s really changed.

veiledmusings touching Juliet's boob
touching Juliet’s boob in Verona – for good luck!

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