So I took the National Medical Admission Test (NMAT) today and I’m pretty sure that I bombed it.  

What’s wrong with me?  This is supposed to be one of the deciding factors in my life’s direction but I can’t seem to, for the fife of me, take it seriously.  So I had one month to prepare for the exam, but what did I do with my time?  I squandered it by procrastination.  Oh, yes.  I’ve done it all, almost everything in my power to keep myself from studying. 

I’ve gone ahead and trained for the Intravenous Therapy license, I read a Jane Austen novel, I spent my time online, I attended parties that I wasn’t even supposed to go to, I went on movie outings and the last few days before the date of the actual test, I went on a Gossip Girl and True Blood marathon.  It’s not like these shows interest me greatly; it’s just that I was grasping at straws to not study. 

I guess this is the true me- an undisciplined slob who can’t even concentrate for a day to study for an exam.

And the people around me aren’t exactly helping.  I mean, I know that they mean well, but all the ‘You can do it’s and the ‘Ikaw pa, eh kayang-kaya mo yan’s aren’t what I needed.  I needed somebody to be harsh with me, somebody to excite fear in my system so I’d actually pick up a book and study. 

I know that it sounds like I’m making excuses, and I guess I am.  That’s what a solid seventeen years worth of schooling’s done to me, I suppose.  I am a weakling who cannot do anything on my own without directions.

So all in all don’t be the least bit shocked to hear that I didn’t make the University of Santo Tomas Faculty of Medicine and Surgery.  I didn’t take the NMAT as seriously as I could have, I know, so I guess if you still don’t believe that I didn’t, in fact, do any kind of studying for today’s test, then I guess you will soon find out for yourself.