It’s probably obvious to everyone following my blog that I am very much confused as to what I should/would do in my life.
A few months ago I was absolutely certain that I would become a nurse for life, be it here or in the states. All the signs pointed to nursing. I had the chance to pursue my medical school dreams in the form of taking the NMAT last 2007, but the date of the December exam fell on the exact same date of our class retreat to Caleruega, Batangas. I mean, come on. Of all the dates for the date of the test to be set, it had to land on the one weekend that I wasn’t available. And then the results of the June 2008 Philippine Nursing Licensure Exam and I found that I was lucky enough to get into the top ten slot for our whole batch. I know that it’s not an honor that everybody’s bestowed so I thought, what the hell, maybe I was going to make it in this profession after all. Because of that particular blessing, my path to the states is practically laid down before me; I had an agency wiling to shoulder the expenses for all the examinations I needed to get into America.
But now I’m singing a different tune, sort of. It’s just that in order for me to make a lucrative life as a nurse, either here in the Philippines or in the states, I literally need hospital experience. Which, you know, I can’t get. All the hospitals are fully booked because of that stupid retrogression issue and the one hospital that I’m dying to get into isn’t calling my phone. The NCLEX, which, I thought I’d be over and done with by February, at the latest, still hasn’t happened yet. And now I’m reduced to shelling out ridiculous amounts of cash just for a chance to get absorbed in a hospital as a staff nurse whose contract, by the way, lasts for five months maximum.
As much as I abhor asking for money to finance this stab in the dark for a chance in nursing, I fear that I have no other choice. If I don’t ask for the money I’d have no other choice but to stay as a bum until another opportunity like this lands on my lap.
Well, either that or I try and apply as a company nurse somewhere. And as tempted as I am to pursue a path where I actually get paid (and not the other way around) to work, I know that being a company nurse wouldn’t do squat for my chances in nursing.
So here I am, gambling with my parents’ money and spending (hopefully not wasting) my time. I sure hope that it pays for my career as a nurse in the long run, because if by this time next year I’m enrolled in med. school, pursuing med. school careers, it is so seriously going to suck ass.
Big time.
